Episode 25: Brian Rollo Interview
What’s your life story?
For me, 2020 was a year spent reflecting on my life story and I thought, “Boy I could write a book!”
Something I think ALL of us have in common when we look back….I mean, everyone has at least one book in them, right? This made me ponder, what is my life story?
I was reminded of a high school reunion I went to for my dearly departed sister. It was awesome seeing old school mates that shared great stories about her…but what struck me was that I felt most people saw me as someone with tremendous loss. It was something about the way they looked at me.
After all, I was alone, my parents died years ago(untimely deaths like my sister), I’m divorced, and my children are grown so I am an empty nester. Going to my sisters class reunion was more appealing than going to my own because I had interacted with my sisters high school friends over the years more than my own. But that sense I had that people felt sorry for me, whether it be just my own perception or actually an intuitive hit, kinda instigated a resentment toward my families deaths and the trajectory those deaths created in my life.
I didn’t ask or expect to be alone in my later years, in fact never dreamed of it! And I certainly did not like the thought that my life was being defined by the loss and grief I experienced early in my life! I could see this through the eyes of people that actually knew my family history and back ground and I really did not like the fact that, that was the way people saw me…Her sister died young and so did her parents, glad that isn’t my family, glad I’m not alone like she is!
To be clear this is my own perception that got triggered at this outing, but the more I thought of it the more it angered me. So much so that I made the decision to change that perception of being viewed as a VICTIM. Although these people didn’t intend to exude that feeling, nor did they say anything that would make me feel this…I could sense this kind of subtle fear of death and how things can just happen beyond our control or beyond reason, I could sense that I was treated somewhat differently. Maybe it was actually odd by all accounts that I was even at that particular reunion instead of going to one with my own class.
Regardless, I still had this feeling like my life had been defined by the untimely deaths of my family members and other significant losses and it pissed me off! I mean, I never actually felt victimized by the death of my loved ones, or perhaps I just wasn’t aware until I went to that reunion and had an epiphany about how my life was currently in this status of being alone and being defined by that in my own mind and how it was time for me to change that perception internally and externally.
It was time to take back the reins of my life! And create something from the ashes of years of loss and grief.
I mean all my past has been burned away mentally and emotionally (something of an initiation) during our collective Covid quarantine. I’m actually able to start over! FREE without interference or unsolicited guidance telling me what I should or should not do. The choices I make moving forward are mine . I’m alone! I can focus on creating anew. I only have to be responsible for myself and for my actions and deeds. I can literally go out a create new virgin territory for myself. I’ve had completion with my birth family and with my ex-husband and children. Yes, I will still participate in their lives but I am able to move forward and choose who I will keep close and who I will let go of as well as what I shall do to occupy my time in career, love, friendships, family, spiritually, intellectually, emotionally, financially, and travel adventures!
As we look forward to envision a new landscape for our lives in 2021, what has been your life story?
Have you been chronically ill, habitually overweight, financially in debt, bored in the workplace, unfulfilled spiritually, emotionally depressed but putting on a fake smile around family and friends…isn’t it time to honestly look and say "hey wait a minute…what have I been doing that has gotten me here?" And how can I power up to a better quality of life by simply making a few conscious tweeks in perception or take a few action steps with some consistency...how will that change the prognosis of my future life vision?
Think of your life as a book, a story with you being the lead character. How do you see yourself, heart and soul and what vibration are you putting out into the world? Is your story one you will feel happy to tell and look back on with appreciation for living it?? So as we begin this new year with hopefulness to a better future how will you write the story of you life? Is it a rewrite of 2020 or a recreation for 2021?
Written By Shelley Devine
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